SCENE
(A bathroom in a house. ELI and KIMMY enter, closing and locking the door behind them. ELI is holding a half empty beer.)

ELI
Why did you drag me in here? Let’s get back to the party.

KIMMY
The music is too loud out there. I was trying to tell you I want to leave.

ELI
What? Why? We’ve barely been here two hours.

KIMMY
Because I’m tired and I don’t know anyone here.

ELI
I hardly know anyone either.

KIMMY
Then why are we here?

ELI
What do you mean? I told you earlier.

KIMMY
Well, remind me.

ELI
I’m trying to get to know my coworkers better.

KIMMY
There’s only like two of them here. You said so yourself.

ELI
(Sips his beer.)
So?

KIMMY
You’re hardly getting to know your coworkers if there are so few of them here.

ELI
I don’t understand why you’re so angry.

KIMMY
I’m not angry. I’m tired.

ELI
(Holds out his beer.)
Why don’t you have a drink? Maybe you’ll start enjoying yourself.

KIMMY
No. Thank you.

(ELI withdraws his beer.)

KIMMY
Can we just leave? I need to get up early tomorrow to study.

ELI
I thought… You told me you weren’t going to do any homework while you’re here, that you’d leave it in New York.

(Someone knocks loudly on the other side of the door.)

ELI
Occupied!

KIMMY
I won’t be doing homework. I’ll be studying.

ELI
That’s the same thing, Kimmy.

KIMMY
What do you want me to do? I have to study.

ELI
The whole point of this visit was so we could spend time together without the distraction of school. At least, that’s what you told me when I bought your plane ticket.

KIMMY
I… Really? You offered to buy it. I didn’t ask you.

ELI
I don’t care about the plane ticket! I’m just saying… Ugh! Just tell me what’s going on with you. Seriously. Why are we in here?

(There is a loud knocking on the door again.)

ELI
(Slams his beer down on the counter.)
Someone’s in here!

KIMMY
(Visibly upset.)
I’m not… it’s… I’m just tired.

ELI
You’re lying. Goddammit, just tell me what’s going on.

KIMMY
(Incoherently.)
It’s bull.

ELI
(Frustrated.)
What?

KIMMY
It’s bullshit.

ELI
Huh? Kimmy–

KIMMY
It’s bullshit!

ELI
What are you talking about?

KIMMY
It’s fucking bullshit. You talk about wanting to spend time together, but you haven’t paid me a shred of attention while I’ve been here. You’ve been sniffing at that bitch’s heels all night. Why am I here, Eli? Why the fuck am I here?

ELI
Don’t call her a bitch.

KIMMY
Oh my God. That’s all you have to say? You’re not even denying it!

ELI
I told you I’m trying to get to know my coworkers better. She’s a coworker.

KIMMY
Now who’s lying?

ELI
I’m not lying! She is a cowor–

(There is more banging on the door, and people shouting on the other side.)

ELI
(Slams his fist into the door.)
Fuck off! It’s busy!

KIMMY
You know what? Maybe you’re not lying. Sure, she’s a coworker. And you’re certainly here to get to know her better, aren’t you?

ELI
What is this?

KIMMY
You! And her! You think I can’t tell?

ELI
Jesus Christ, I can’t believe this. What do you want me to say? That I fucked her?

KIMMY
Did you?

ELI
No! Of course not! For fuck’s sake.

KIMMY
You need to tell me right now. Tell me the truth.

ELI
Fine. You want the truth? You’re so goddamn busy all the time. Studying, homework, class, studying. It’s hard enough being in a long-distance relationship, but you aren’t even trying to make time for me. Every time I call, we talk for five minutes and then you have to go, and I can’t even remember the last time we Skyped. You hardly ever visit, and you won’t let me come visit you in New York for some reason.

KIMMY
I… You know my classes are crazy.

ELI
I don’t know about anything anymore.

KIMMY
What is that supposed to mean?

ELI
I don’t know what the hell it means. You’re the NYU genius, why don’t you tell me?

KIMMY
Did you cheat on me?

ELI
No, Kimmy. Stop asking me that.

KIMMY
But you like her.

ELI
She makes me smile. She makes me happy. Is it so wrong that I want to feel that again?

KIMMY
You’re not happy?

ELI
Are you?

(KIMMY breaks down at the question.)

ELI
Kimmy… I love you. You know that I do. But no, I’m not… I’m not.

(A moment. Then ELI pulls a distraught KIMMY into his arms. There’s a knock on the door again, but they both ignore it.)

ELI
So what happens now?